Don’t Be Your Own Worst Enemy
By · CommentsAre you spending money on clothes, food or spa treatments to make yourself feel better and cope with stress? Are you taking multiple supplements in hopes of increasing your energy? Many of us are still looking for things outside ourselves to make us feel better. However, if we don’t make internal changes, all the outward changes in the world aren’t going to make a difference. Here are some inconsistencies I observe in others’ behavior that puzzle me:
- Ingesting multiple supplements while not following a nutritious food plan
- Treating yourself to pedicures, manicures and facials while avoiding regular physical activity
- Spending money on material goods but not investing in resources to enhance wellness such as coaching, fitness classes or consultation with a dietitian
I am not opposed to the strategic use of supplements and certainly support rewarding efforts at improvement with treats such as spa services or a purchase of jewelry, clothing or cosmetics that make the most of our natural assets. My concern is that many of us are ignoring warning signals that we need to take better care of our bodies. The most effective way to address warning signals such as low energy, feelings of overwhelm and mild mood swings is to honestly assess our lifestyles and make simple changes.
The first step toward enhancing your personal wellness is the hardest. Just remember to start small and when that behavior becomes habit, you can add to it. Ask yourself, “what is one thing I can do that will make a difference?” The new behavior may be to drink a glass of water before each meal, or to practice a relaxation technique, or to walk fifteen minutes on a break. Commit to doing the behavior by putting it on your calendar. Share your goal with someone who will hold you accountable and schedule a check in. Do this for six weeks and then add a new behavior. Don’t forget to reward yourself for the new habit along the way!
Feel free to report your progress in the comments section of this blog. I love to hear success stories! Choose well…
Make Sleep a Priority…
By · CommentsI’m hearing a lot of complaints about sleep recently. Mostly the complaints revolve around not getting enough sleep and not functioning well as a result. I’m concerned with the fact that often the complainers are making a conscious choice to deprive themselves of sleep and are aware of the fact that it impairs their concentration, productivity and stamina. The rationalizations I hear are, “I was on the computer and lost track of time”; or “I always stay up to watch the news”; or “I was involved in something that I wanted to finish”.
Another common issue is difficulty falling asleep. Typically, this is an inability to relax enough to fall asleep. Often when someone has gone from one task to another all day long, they find when they go to bed, their minds won’t shut off. It may be the first still moment they’ve had all day or the first opportunity to pause and think. I hear comments such as, “I think of all the things I didn’t get done”; or “I worry about little things”; or “I rehash my day”.
Luckily, both of these sleep issues are related to behaviors under our control. Generally, the person who has difficulty falling asleep is more motivated to change behavior than the person who is choosing to give up sleep. However, the consequences of sleep deprivation may become severe enough to spur a desire to change in either situation.
As with any change, it’s important to be aware of the consequences of our choices and determine what we would like to experience instead. Focusing on the positive results of getting more sleep such as having more energy, a more positive outlook or lessening food cravings is a starting point. Someone choosing to get more sleep may want to implement a bedtime. To gradually change sleep habits, it may be helpful to start going to bed thirty minutes earlier than usual. Each week the bedtime can be moved thirty minutes earlier until effective daytime functioning is achieved. Some people can get by with six hours of sleep and others must have nine hours to function well.
Learning to relax enough to calm the mind is a bit more difficult but definitely doable. Start by being aware of anything that may be adding to the issue by creating too much stimulation. This includes caffeine intake within as much as eight hours before bedtime and perhaps even watching the news prior to going to sleep. Sometimes it’s helpful to make a transition from activity to rest by doing some writing. This could include making a “to do” list for the next day or keeping a gratitude journal or listing accomplishments for the day. Deep breathing and visualization techniques can help to calm the mind. Visualizing your favorite peaceful scene is often helpful.
Remember that small, gradual changes lead to long-term results. Choose well…
Please note: If you have other sleep concerns, The National Sleep Foundation is a resource for information. There are many health concerns that impact the quantity and quality of sleep. Excessive daytime drowsiness may be a symptom of sleep apnea. Concerns such as depression, chronic pain and night sweats should be addressed with a medical professional.
Wellness and Self-Esteem
By · CommentsMy best learning experiences have always been hands on. It’s difficult for me to grasp new ideas if I don’t have the opportunity to apply the ideas. Maybe that’s why I previously missed the connection between wellness and self-esteem. Recently, while re-reading a book on wellness coaching, I experienced an “aha” moment. I read the same passage about self-esteem a few years ago and, in fact, had highlighted it but I never applied the concept.
Why is self-esteem important in exploring wellness? Without a moderate level of self-esteem, none of us are going to attempt change. Think about it. If we don’t feel fairly good about ourselves to begin with, we’re not going to feel hopeful that we can attempt lifestyle improvements. Certainly, personal wellness coaching can impact self-esteem and can be very empowering but low self-esteem may hinder many from ever attempting to address their wellness concerns. In partnering with clients to address concerns, I always review their previous attempts at behavior change as well as past successes but I never viewed client history as a possible reflection of self-esteem.
Not only does this give me a different perspective in coaching but also in consulting to employers. Perhaps self-esteem is one of the keys to effective behavior change. A recent report indicates that personal wellness coaching is more effective in addressing company wellness than wellness education programs alone . It may be that wellness coaches impact self-esteem merely by providing a supportive, encouraging environment for lifestyle change.
To quote Michael Arloski, a pioneer in wellness coaching, “Wellness is caring enough about yourself to take stock of your life, make the necessary changes and find the support to maintain your motivation”. Choose well…
Just Say Yes…
By · CommentsMy first idea for a title for this blog was “just say no”. However, as a student of the science of behavior change, I know that saying no is not effective. For example, if I say I’m going to cut sugar from my eating plan, I immediately start focusing on sugar. When this occurs, I’m much more aware of everything in my environment that has sugar and I have to focus on refusing all of those items. I’m actually much more likely to limit my sugar intake if I change my focus to saying “yes” to something. It’s easier to add something than to remove something.
Here are some examples of a positive approach:
- I will have my favorite cola or tea after I have had a glass of water and only if I still want it. (Sometimes after first making the more healthy choice, we no longer desire the less healthy option.)
- I will have dessert after I have a nutritious meal, if I’m still craving something sweet. (When you’re no longer hungry or responding to other cues, you may decide to split dessert with a fellow diner or pass it up entirely.)
- I will include some items to satisfy my sweet tooth in my daily meal plan because I know it’s unrealistic to totally avoid sugar. (The items could include fruit, dark chocolate, yogurt or other portion-controlled snacks.)
Practice saying “yes” to positive choices. You will find that the change you are seeking is easier to accomplish from this perspective. Choose well…
Reading Labels
By · CommentsRecently, when I was presenting at a wellness event, the host caught me reading the label on the yogurt she had provided. I think she was surprised to find me reading the label of a product she thought was nutritious. She asked if the yogurt was a healthy choice. I explained that I’m not a dietitian but am making a personal choice to limit my sugar intake. The yogurt had a higher sugar content than I was willing to eat. Later, during a break, she brought a container of fruit punch to me and asked me to read the label. The second ingredient was high fructose corn syrup. I explained that this ingredient is controversial but I try to avoid it. I also shared with her that any ingredient ending in -ose is a sugar based sweetener and often there are several of these in one product. She seemed embarrassed that she had thought fruit punch was a nutritious food choice. I encouraged her to start reading labels but not to become overwhelmed by it. I reiterated my wellness philosophy which I had already shared with the group…small, gradual steps for long-term lifestyle change.
The first step in achieving any type of change is awareness. I encourage you to become more aware of the ingredients in the food you’re eating. Is it high in saturated fats? Does it include trans-fats? Is it high in sugar? What is the fiber content? Are there numerous additives or preservatives? How much sodium does it contain? You don’t need to have a PhD in nutrition to make a choice for less sugar, less fat or more fiber. Just compare products. At first it will take a little longer getting through the grocery but after a few times, you will have favorite products that are tasty and nutritious. Remember, it takes six weeks to develop a new habit. You and your family are worth the effort. Please comment and share your results as you strive to Choose Well…
Don’t Deprive Yourself
By · CommentsThe field of positive psychology has provided a lot of information about developing and maintaining an optimistic perspective toward life. In addition, books such as The Secret, encourage us to adopt a viewpoint of abundance rather than scarcity. As we attempt to stay on course with life balance, a focus on optimism and abundance are empowering. When we follow these tenets, we are more likely to feel personal satisfaction in each area of our lives. We are also more likely to be aware of the choices we are making in our daily lives.
These perspectives are extremely helpful in achieving any type of behavior change. For example, if I am focusing on the negative, I’m more likely to focus on what is missing in my life (scarcity). If I’ve recently decided to improve my nutrition or physical activity, I may be focusing on what I’m giving up instead of the benefits. When I pass up that doughnut, I may feel deprived. The same goes for my choice to take a walk instead of watching TV. Positive behavior change cannot succeed when we allow ourselves to feel deprived.
Resisting temptation doesn’t really work. Planning for how you will handle a difficult situation is effective. Perhaps you choose to pass up all treats that have led to binges in the past but allow yourself those you feel better able to manage. Or you may choose to watch your favorite TV program only if you’ve walked or completed other planned physical activity that day. Whenever possible look for win-win solutions. Feelings of deprivation should be a warning signal that you’ve adopted a negative perspective and you need to find ways to create an outlook that incorporates optimism and abundance. Choose well…
Food as Fuel?
By · CommentsIn a recent conversation, I heard the phrase “food as fuel”. Although the phrase is not new to me, it made me stop and think about the concept. The discussion we were having focused on compulsive eating. For my part, the idea that a compulsive eater needs to shift their mindset to one in which they view food as fuel isn’t an idea I can support because I believe it’s an unrealistic expectation.
If we think of our bodies like an automobile, food is our fuel. No argument there. Our bodies need certain substances in food to function at our best. We need water, lean proteins, healthy fats, fruits, vegetables, whole grains and a source of calcium. Please note, I am not a dietitian and I’m not offering nutritional advice…I’m just making a very general point.
And my point is that most of us don’t choose the food we eat because we view food as fuel. Elite athletes follow this dictum but the majority of us approach our food choices differently. We eat out of habit, due to sensory cues and to socialize and celebrate. I believe that our traditions of socializing and celebrating with food is the most difficult eating pattern to modify.
You don’t need to look any further than social media to see this pattern. Facebook postings are filled with examples of how members are spending their time. Many of us are cooking meals for friends, meeting friends for food and drink and eating at ballparks, festivals and concerts. We’re also celebrating birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, holidays and weekends; and it’s all done with food. Are we viewing food as fuel? I don’t know about you but I’m not celebrating my birthday with a nutritional salad and whole grain bread. I’m having crab cakes and ooey-gooey chocolate!
As a personal wellness coach and a professional who provides company wellness programs, I certainly make an effort to make healthy food choices the majority of the time. I’m actually successful 80-90% of the time. If I were to preach the “food as fuel” philosophy, I would most likely lose the audience I’m trying to reach. The concept runs counter to my coaching philosophy of assisting others to make small gradual behavior changes that result in a long-term healthy lifestyle. I certainly have great respect for anyone who achieves the goal of fueling their body with only healthy substances; I just find that I tend to work with clients who are still taking baby steps. So, wherever you on on the path to wellness, Choose well…
Routine…Good, Bad or Ugly?
By · CommentsHow do we decide whether we need to develop more routine in our lives or break out of routine? When can our routine be just plain ugly? Hint…an ugly routine is called a rut and that will be addressed later. When my son was in school, I was always glad to break out of our daily routine by the end of the school year. However, by the end of August, I always felt in need of the additional structure the school schedule imposed.
Routines can be very helpful and serve a purpose. If you don’t have a routine of putting your car keys in the same spot, you are well acquainted with the time spent searching that could be used more productively. So…if routines are so helpful for time management, why do some people resist developing a routine. There are many possible answers to this question. One is that they are not inconvenienced enough by their lack of routine to make a decision to change. Often this is because someone else bails them out. Stop enabling if you believe you are negatively impacted by another’s lack of routine.
For the same reason that routines can be helpful, they are also detrimental. They allow us to stay on autopilot in our lives. That routine of pizza and a DVD on Friday night may be keeping you from accepting an invitation that could lead to a wonderful opportunity. Routines can create comfort and tradition but they can also result in complacence and boredom. Sometimes routine ways of behaving can keep us from exploring options. Sometimes just learning that there are other perspectives is freeing and leads to different choices.
Now for the ugly! If you always go to the same favorite place on vacation, read the same authors, or have driven the same make and model of vehicle for the past upteen years, you may be in a RUT. I’m not judging, just suggesting that you take a look at whether a change might add some spark to your life. Routines help us to manage our time better but may stifle our creativity. It’s good to know we have a choice. When we’re needing to get out the door by a certain time in the morning, that routine we’ve developed may be crucial. However, when we’re in need of an energy boost or a new perspective, it’s helpful to break out of the box we may have created for ourselves.
What have you done to develop a routine when needed or break out of routine when feeling trapped? Please share so we can all learn from your experience and continue to Choose well…
Motivating Others? Impossible!
By · CommentsMotivation is important in making any type of behavior change. It is crucial in personal wellness coaching. As a coach, I want to know what is motivating my client to change. However, I often hear this type of lament, “I’ve tried everything to motivate my ___ (fill in the blank here with husband, wife, daughter, son, friend, mother, father, co-worker, employee, neighbor, partner) to ___ (again fill in the blank with lose weight, walk, eat better, get a physical, meditate) and nothing works”. Guess what? Nothing is going to work because it is impossible to motivate others. The only person I can “motivate” is myself. I can “inspire” others with my example but I can’t “motivate” them.
Often the question of motivation arises when I am working with employers on company wellness programs. I am pleased to say that a lot of employers are getting the message. I recently met with a human resources contact who implemented a wellness program in her organization. She has lost 35 pounds by participating in a company sponsored Weight Watchers program and increasing physical activity. She looks great, feels great and is an inspiration to employees. Change is occurring in that organization.
I observed the same type of inspiration when I visited a friend recently. I had last seen my friend several months ago and since I had last seen her, she lost 25 pounds. She readily shared her secret…a “boot camp” fitness program that she attended by getting up at 5:30 every morning to workout for an hour before she went to work. Although we didn’t discuss her motivation, it was obvious to me that she hoped to set an example for her daughter who had gained weight due to some health issues. My belief is that my friend serves as a fantastic inspiration to her daughter. Her example will achieve what all the nagging in the world could not!
So, the next time you start to say that you don’t know how to motivate someone, think about it. Is there something you can do to inspire that person? I’ve seen it work time after time and have found that inspiration is the only thing that does work. Choose well…
Wellness from Millennial Mentors
By · CommentsFor years while providing education for company wellness programs I observed that one of the great personal benefits I received was that I always l learned something from the participants in my sessions. In personal wellness coaching, I inform clients that I respect their choices because that decison-making reflects their values, lifestyle and priorities. One of the many things I enjoy about coaching is that I learn so much from others’ experiences and their creativity in approaching change. It expands the options that I can offer to clients.
Recently, I had an “aha” moment while reading a post on Facebook by my niece, Rachael in Seattle. Rachael recently began working with a nutritionist to change her eating habits. She made the decision to post everything she eats on Facebook. Although I encourage personal wellness coaching clients to use food and activity trackers, it had never occurred to me to go public with the information on Facebook. My initial reaction was that this action takes incredible courage and it’s a great example of commitment and accountability (two basic tenets of coaching).
An article I read recently described the millennial generation as the “tell all” generation. Rachael’s decision to post her food intake on Facebook is certainly an example of “tell all”. Going public with a lifestyle change may feel risky and uncomfortable and I don’t mean to minimize it by attributing Rachael’s behavior completely to her generation. I mention it primarily because it is a very creative way to ensure personal follow through and get support and encouragement from family and friends. Even though I don’t believe I would be comfortable with taking such a public step, I applaud anyone who does.
Generational differences intrigue me and I have blogged about the topic in the past. My belief is that each generation has strengths that other generations can learn from. In general, when we think of mentoring, we think of the benefits of experience being shared with a younger generation. Although, boomers may appreciate the technical expertise of younger colleagues and family members, we may not take advantage of this great resource to approach change from a different perspective. The great thing is that this “tell all” generation is very willing to share and they want to help others.
So, if you’re looking to change behavior, you might benefit from enlisting the assistance of a younger mentor for a fresh perspective. Choose well…
